42 Day Challenge: If you post it, it will happen

The 42 Day Challenge-If you document it, well, nothing will probably happen

Alright guys.  I’m officially putting myself out there.  Oh, you think I have already done that?  HAHAHAHA.  Nope I haven’t.   I routinely use self-deprecating humour, or talk about my challenges with depression and motherhood.  But this challenge…. well this is a new ball game for me in being real and candid about something I gloss over time and time again.  This next blog post (or series in this case) is going to consist of daily diary entries documenting a “wellness” challenge that I am deciding to put myself through (which is absolutely an euphemism for a weight loss challenge).  Oh Lord help me, but I am 100% going here.

Personally, I think it might be interesting to see how honest I can be about food and exercise and those challenges knowing that absolutely anyone could possibly read this.   I have a pretty toxic relationship with food and food related things.  A lot of that is a long history that is probably best served in the office of a mental health professional.  Not to mention it’s a touchy subject that I really don’t want to TALK about, so I suppose that means I should.  It’s complicated like most personal things are, and has been decades in the making.   But here I am closer to 40 than I’d like to be and was recently reminded that I am three years away from routine colonoscopies, so I figured perhaps I could document my journey to take my health to new heights (you know I’d go all Bachelor cliché on you and no, there will be no helicopter rides to amazing locations on this journey).  If there is one thing I feel confident about it’s writing and using humour to deflect difficult issues.  So, I am starting a diary of sorts as I try and use the next six weeks to create better habits that stick without driving myself insane.  Basically, I am using my summer holidays to try and have some self exploration and give myself a bit of a challenge.  Perhaps being accountable to the Internet will either be helpful or be good for a laugh.  Truthfully, I think it will be helpful for me whether or not it helps or entertains anybody else. Worth it. 

This won’t be without challenges though.  For the sake of being concise shall I list them?

1.       I like to drink booze. 

2.       It’s summer and I really like to drink booze on a boat.

3.       I spend a lot of time on a boat.

4.       My kids try and kill each other whenever I don’t give them my undivided attention, which makes workouts difficult.  But surely, they won’t die if I do some jumping jacks in my basement.

5.       I also really like pizza.  I’m not really sorry about that.

6.       I don’t like working out when I am not at home in the privacy of my own basement where no one, other than my 5-year-old, can comment on how I don’t do any of the moves like the girl in the workout video.  So, time at the lake I will have to improvise some workouts/just say no to ice cream and it should even out.

7.       I am well aware that I could start doing this in September once everyone is back into routine and I won’t be tempted with the booze/ice cream/debauchery that is summer holidays.  But where is the fun in that?  Plus, everyday can be a holiday or a reason to indulge if you let it.  I also want to get started while I’m off work because, you know, I’ll be less crazy/tired/ready to give up.  Hopefully.

 Why I want to do this:

1.       Ugh those damn kids of mine.  I need to be a good example and even though I have made my disdain for Kraft Dinner very clear, I know that I want them to be active and to stop bothering me about wanting Bear Paws every waking minute.  I have started finely grating chicken and vegetables in most things they want to eat, so I do feel marginally successful already. 

2.       I have clothes that mock me in my closet.  I really want to bypass them and get into a smaller size as payback.

3.       Perhaps my narcissistic tendencies would be better served through documenting a weight loss challenge instead of thinking of one liners so some celebrity will retweet me on Twitter.

4.       Because why not right?

 The “Rules”-Just to set the stage for where I am at and what I am prepared to do and not prepared to do

1.       Start using My Fitness Pal again.  It is a good little tool if you use it consistently.  My calorie goal is 1340 per day.  So basically, if you eat at a restaurant, you can only eat that one meal for the day.  Also, if you drink on a boat that is pretty much your day as well.  Truthfully that doesn’t sound that bad.  Oh, but I won’t be giving you a food journal or pictures of my food because that is dumb.  I’ll talk about the day and what went on and such, but I will not bore you with a complete run down unless you really want to know.  I mean if I eat an entire sleeve of Oreos I’ll tell you (I have never done that by the way…just saying).

2.       Exercise daily.  30 minutes is enough though.  I can’t fathom trying to orchestrate more time in my day.  Did you know my children get up before the sun?

3.       Drink way more water.  When I am at home, especially in the summer, I don’t find this task difficult, so for the duration of this challenge I feel like I have it in the bag.  When I go back to work though, my room is like a meat locker and I wear like 4 sweaters, so water is usually the last thing I want.  But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. 

4.       10,000 steps a day.  I have a Fitbit, which I actually really like.  When I’m working, I actually get 10,000 pretty easily.  When I’m on holidays it is much less.  Which surprises me, but I guess yelling at my kids from the couch isn’t really walking. 

5.       Stop making excuses.  I do this way too much.  I’m too tired.  I’ll do it tomorrow.  Oprah has struggled for years too and if she can’t do it, ain’t nobody can.  I need to have a personal chef/trainer/butler to even have this work.  Eating salad makes me sad.  The best things in life are not only extraordinarily expensive, but also delicious.  I will always have cankles no matter what I do (this really is true…curse of being short).  I have to give my kids the ipad and television just to be able to work out/shower in the first place and I could use that quiet time drinking coffee and updating my Instagram.  And on it goes.  Alas I need to invest in some dry shampoo and wake up extra early and just do it already.

6.       I have finally created my own Facebook page to share updates and such.  Better than putting it in my regular page feed.  I am hopeful that those who will follow my page will do so willingly and want to read what I put out there instead of feeling forced to glaze over my shit when I put it in a generic Facebook post.  You guys all get that.  I will put daily updates on my blog and link them through Facebook and Twitter (follow me @sadeatingsalad…yes that really is my twitter handle because it’s fucking true).

7.       Oh, and I’ll be nothing but honest.  Because what would be the point otherwise?  I am so far from perfect and I know that I will have some pitfalls along the road.  I will not deprive myself because that don’t work either, folks.  It is what it is and if I feel like a drink…well I’ll have one.  I wouldn’t be Carmen otherwise. 

8.       Lastly, my birthday will be happening during this next 42 days.  Obviously, this day does not count.  I will have my cake and fucking eat it.   

Day 1 starts tomorrow, Monday, July 31st.  Wish me luck.